Serving

My life is always repeating itself.

I serve then I crash, I serve then I crash. It's not because I don't like serving. It is because I feel stupid. Not that I think God is stupid but I feel used. I know we all should be the catalyst and move forward going the 2nd mile. But I feel used. Overused.

The curse of being able to play multiple instrument --> not helping. Good thing though I have a break in worship leading for 2 months. Coz everytime whenever I worship lead sure there's swapping and it's not 1 or 2 person. It's like the 3 or 4 swaps!

For the past 3 times my e-guitarist told me cannot serve. (no I am not angry anymore) what are the odds? Then I have piano swapping. Backup swapping. Drum swapping. Like hello? I understand if u crash a car on your way or something but this is too much isn't it?

Oh sure John is always there because he does not need to have anything to do on Sundays, no trips. no balik kampung, no anything. It's like pop out came the weasel. John will fix it. Ok maybe you don't mean it this way but I feel this way seriously. That's why I feel stupid being serving every week without ranting much but I feel I seriously am very abused. No Joe, it's not you abusing me it's the commitment of the whole team that abuses me.

Yes I know fellas, Not everything is about me. Not everything revolves around me but I find it hard to accept people easily swapped because of selfish reasons. Who am I to complain? Afterall I have a small tiny weekend break next February.

Wait! am I allowed to take that one day break in Feb?

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZIP~!