As much as it was a routine camp, it is tiring although I did not even work hard for it. But my mind's filled with thoughts, problems with little solution and idea-less plan at all. I was stuck and still am.

It was less than hundred people in the camp and the youths are far less than last year, I have a lot of duty I know, I have more duty than ever to make sure nothing happens. I know how young and violent youths can get. Oh yeah! bringing back memories of how it used to be. ;) things that are not glorifying to share here.

How was it you say? I would say that's pretty alright, You know during practice for my worship leading, I was really greatly troubled by the troubles that I had. Then I realize that my songs are quite hypocritical for my state at that point of time, which usually happens when I chose song that I don't know why I would choose. Then I realized that those songs are songs of the greatness of God and the goodness.

How can I sing songs like "blessed be the name when I'm found in the dessert place, though I walked through the wilderness blessed be the name?" or Thanking God for His faithfulness, and Our God Reigns? (If I ever sing the verse I'll cry) How could I sing songs like that? But I think God is trying to tell me something. Tough choice.

During the camp, I had the privilege to talk to different individual some serious topic, particularly my room mate, he made me see a bigger picture to tackle some problems that I was facing. Of course I did read my leadership book but I only read a chapter and a half. Due to time constrains and distractions hahaha

Before we go on, just to briefly sum up the worship, was great, the sermon was really awesome, it is not bombastic super revival meeting, but it is very subtle yet painful sermons it is those that make u feel good but stabs you. fellowship? that's normal though a little HUGE different without PN. Food? Didn't have much appetite to eat at every meal. The workshop is slow but I made a lot of points, hope they benefit someone at least.

This blog is looking depressing, How the camp ended? did I achieve my purpose of relaxing and thinking? a little probably 10%

But I came up with this while I was in it

Keep trying. Keep moving forward. Easier said than....done. Father, help?

I am sorry that I didn't bring much joy to camp, and more joyous news from camp to home. you can visit other blogs there on the right column to see if they update happier news.

To my question on my title "renewed?" That's definately, Next question --> now where do we go from here?

1 comment:

Felicia said... is different without PN...n this year mostly all vry emo so fellowship vry little...but u did get a lot of good comments when u gave ur points n i do agree wit the comments dat was given, ur are getthing more mature!!