Social Butterfly?

I know there are a few social butterfly which well are social, some short, some fat...

That's not the point no-no... years ago (many many) Me and my character have always suggested that I was a loner, Not many friends, just me and me. I don't like mixing around, I don't like talking and probably am shy when I was a kid. When I was a teenager, I was quiet as well. Again, I really talked to Jennifer (more than 2 sentence kind) after knowing her for 7 years. See?

After that, some would call me hostile, some would call me unfriendly, some assume that I hate them haha well, that period I would like to call it - lazy. Yep I am lazy to make new friends thinking oh gee how long will it take to really able to hang out together and know him/her, so I shunned away.

I love being alone, I love the rain, it would trigger my emo-ness... But I like being alone, when I am alone, I think of all sorts of things... Imaginative, problems, solutions etc... I often look around when I am alone, I look how people behave.

Like for example, Just a few days ago, I was a waffle world alone eating erm waffles and I was watching kids playing their game and how one small girl kept posing to the camera. And after that say mommy I want to see I want to see. I can't help buy kept wondering, wow what a lucky kid she is. I don't have the luxury to pose 2nd time when I was a kid, what's ugly is ugly hahaha.

But now being alone is a whole different story, since I am a busy nonsocial bee, I would have no time to waste sitting around and doing nothing. As for my loner behaviour, it is fading away as I surface more and begin to meet people more. Now I don't get stuck when I am with a new person. I start the conversation. I can go around getting to know people. Sometimes it feels odd really. But it is how it is.

Today being alone is very unusual for me, I am missing Joleen of course, being alone without her is miserable. But overall I can't be alone for long now, I don't know is it good or bad. I used to hate going to youth group because I don't have friends. Now usually Sunday afternoon is really doom for me. After a long weekend of hanging with church friends, you come to quietness and lonliness. odd. Do I like it? I don't know, Am I being myself? I am not, but I have a duty to carry, and that duty has made me someone else. Which I assume that it would be good.

Altight, That's it.. GOod night world

1 comment:

joleen said...

i am here.... :)