And my heart will sing how great is our God

My heart is troubled. I have been troubled for almost one full day by now. The incident had probably shooked me up from slumber.

Times like this is truly a hard time to praise God's name right? Yet in the midst of all this, I am also struggling with faith and hope and salvation. Maybe I have always played safe. I don't do this then this this this won't happen. My life is dull. I hardly had chance to practice faith and this is a good time to do so.

I am also shaken and tried to speak in tongues but that did not work this time for some strange reason (afterall this is a period of time of 'revival') But when I was at morning worship service, my heart were calm when we sang songs. Although its still the normal song that we sing week after week somehow when you are in that situation, you'll feel like hey that's my heart song.

But then soon after I got home I started to feel anxious again and I picked up my guitar and sang How great is our God. Somehow that song seems different now, It reminds me of the various psalms in the bible where people are praising the Lord even though they are in difficulties and that does not make any sense to me but as I sang, I felt that I've been comfort and gives me strenght.

I have written many draft by now about the incident but I did not publish because I did not feel that I was writing well. Somehow I am moved to write this because maybe you are in the same situation feeling despair and hopeless. I pray that you'll find refuge in Jesus. Truly he is great and awesome.

You know what? Positive stuff came out. I use simple stuff and shared about church and how people are praying to her family. Hope of God is also in contact with the family and who knows? If it threw me to rethink my life, I am sure it throws a lot of people to rethink about their life.

I wept at the altar today. I felt the presence so strong. I just wept. Today's message was appropriate. It talks about how God gives life to the dead. And how he brings water to the desert.

P/S Thank you for praying for me and Joleen, guys and girls. I really appreciate it. I know some of you don't know what to say to me like just stuck or speechless. You don't have to say anything, just keep us in your prayers!

P/P/S For those who don't know what happen, Maybe I will blog about it sometime in future as now is not the right time to tell you what had just happen. Instead of asking me what happen, just pray for strenght for both of us... Thanks! =)