Don't Judge Me!

"I'm sorry that I'm getting on your case, but true friend stabs you in the face"
-Super Trouper, Superchick

Don't Judge Me!

Some how this 3 words always gets me all worked up and my brain overdrive. Over the years I have heard alot of this 3 words occasionally with an added 'Please' in front for more polite manner. Some extremist will even say "only God can judge me!" That is what Ella quoted in the newspaper today. It is often heard when you confront people of wrong behaviour, saying your displease, or just simply telling the truth.

Maybe it is best used when you have no more excuse to give - "Don't Judge Me!" Maybe it is best used when you want to avoid and run from argument - "Don't Judge Me!" Or maybe, we don't like to hear truth about ourselves - "DON'T JUDGE ME"

Can parents judge us?

"Eh boy told you already you always play and don't study no wonder so bad result"

So why do I always get involved and get this 3 words slam across my face? Well, Confrontation is never my cup of tea. Yet somehow I always ended up doing it simply because I had to And often time it always ended when other party says Don't Judge Me! You don't know me! You are not me! Back off! You don't know what happen! Well yeah of course I don't I am not you I am never you so do you want to know what "not you" thinks of you? A simple don't judge me often keeps me quiet after that since I know there is nothing I say will make sense.

Do I like to be judged? I don't really know actually how far my limit does go. But I have never said Don't Judge me to anyone before in my life.

Maybe because... I always believed in open public opinion. I know myself yet sometimes my image to other people is more important than what I think of myself.

What about you? does it offend you when people say Don't Judge Me to you? Just when you tried to tell them some honest words of what you think of them?

Maybe we all love to live in denial, where flowers bloom, with lovey-dovey talking animals as our friends, where tree dances along in the wind and only God can judge. Such is afterlife. ;)

Alright so maybe we all get confuse what is judging, criticizing, correcting, assuming etc... can you make a fine line between all these? Don't really know.

But one thing I do know that by writing this article I can already hear people scream: "EH JOHN you have no right to judge us for saying DON'T JUDGE ME!" If that or any sort of response is to this article, aren't you judging me?


Joleen said...

mm, just an honest opinion here. hehe sometimes ppl just won buy honest opinion with strong words.

such as.. "you are not responsible"
I just can say sometimes things become really worst when saying such words.

i think i will prefer "mayb you have forgeten this that this things will happen. you might not know, so next time can improve better"

thats what my church culture is.. N thats why ppl are not buying my idea n don like me coz im beeing too straight forward n fierce

r u saying me too? haha..

J'son said...

I like the post..
There's really no fine line for it..
But I like what you have just said..
It's awesome and true..

angeliCassie said...

i kinda agree with joleen...sometimes the difference between a constructive advice and plain criticism is how you frame your words..framing is VERY makes a person openly accept your advice or be bitter about it.

and i guess ppl are only juding cause they care (i'm talking abt friend to friend here yea..not total strangers)..cause if you don't care for that person,why waste time judging?and even when ppl judge total strangers,they are actually comparing themselves with those strangers.

don't be so hard on yourself..and when ppl said "don't judge me!"'s not necessarily cause they have no more excuse or's sometimes a form of defense...and ppl are meant to be's our helps us survive have to always judge between black and white..and sometimes gray too...ok i shall end this with something lame.

Cassie: don't judge me bro john!

Bro john: i'm not judging you!i'm just evaluating you =)

Anonymous said...

hmm, talking about "frame". well..i think some times the person on the receiving end of the "advice" just cant get out of thier defensive frame of thought or they are the way they perceive the "advice" is like as an "attack", thats why they got to pull thier last defensive weapon and say

DOn't you JUDGE me OK? who gave you the RIGHT to Judge me? only GOD can judge me, everybody else can get out of my court.

lol...can you imagine that? sorry its 5 am.


fangz said...

but u always judge ppl ler haha subconsciously, that is.

:: J o h n :: said...

Hmm interesting response from everyone!

Joleen - sometimes saying it in a nice way people might not get it. and they tend to forget that so saying you're not responsible kills pain faster.

Just like chinese medicine and western medicine. The chinese medicine makes you bitter and painful. The western prefer to not feel pain but the problem is still there.

J'son - Ah you're right there is no fine line to this

cassie - like what joe said, maybe its true. sometimes there is already a brick wall before you even start giving nice advice so in that case...

Joe - perception.. hmm we can appear to be as nice a butterfly but people might still take us as a vigorous tiger...

fangz - thanks la wei. haha

Joleen said...

I'm not sure about guys but its definitely works much better on gals.

trust me. I tried before, the one i recently greatly offended coz i been straight forward in my speech.

Mayb it works for guys ahhahahhaha

Chin Hoe said...

Fully agree with Joe.

Bible said we are not suppose to judge.

However Bible never say Leader cannot correct and discipline us.

We ought to know the differences between judging and teaching/correcting/disciplining.

I guess it is more on the "teachability" of an individual.

I learn it the VERY hard way.
Please learn this lesson early.
If not you guys/girls will regret.

Chin Hoe